§ Department VI

Wanted: Dead or Slightly Moist

Issued by order of the Chief Fluff-Buffer

WANTED

DEAD OR SLIGHTLY MOIST

🩱
ARTIST'S IMPRESSION
The Baron Von Bathrobe

Heavyweight white cotton with suspicious blue piping. Missing belt (last seen used as a lasso). Pockets contain three sugar cubes and a stolen copy of The Daily Mirror.

  • Inciting a Flannel Revolt in the Hydrotherapy Wing
  • Refusing to be "folded squarely" per the Act of 1924
  • Claiming to be a "Silk Dressing Gown" while clearly an Industrial Towelling Product
Reward: One slightly used bar of institutional soap & a firm handshake from a man named Arthur
⚠ Public Safety Warning Do NOT attempt to fold the Baron Von Bathrobe. He has evaded capture seventeen times by simply draping himself over a towel rail. If spotted, report immediately to the Chief Fluff-Buffer. Do not engage, do not launder, and under no circumstances offer him a hanger.