§ The Peace Accord
Terms of Surrender
Signed in the presence of a Very Confused Goldfish and a Representative from the Ministry of Plumbing.
I.Demilitarized Soap Dishes: No sponge shall occupy a porcelain dish for more than three lunar cycles without a written permit from a Face-Cloth.
II.Shared Absorbency Rights: Towels agree to handle the "Dignified Drying," while Sponges retain the "Grime-Based Scrubbing."
III.The Great Exchange: One high-quality Tea-Towel shall be traded for a Luffa of equal existential dread.
IV.Non-Aggression Pact: No sponge shall intentionally "drip" on a dry towel, and no towel shall "snag" a sponge's porous underside.
Signed: A large, yellow, soapy sponge-print that smells faintly of lemon-scented detergent.
Witnessed by: A damp patch on the ceiling.