As Decreed by the Ministry of Damp
Failure to comply constitutes an act of Unilateral Dampness, punishable by immediate return to the spin cycle.
| Time | Activity | Classification |
|---|---|---|
| 06:00 | The Morning Unfolding. Towels are shaken violently to remove any lingering dreams of being a curtain. | MANDATORY |
| 08:30 | Breakfast. A light dusting of starch and a stern look from the Head Matron. | COMPULSORY |
| 10:00 | Mandatory Hanging. Towels must hang in a draughty corridor and contemplate the futility of absorbency. | OBLIGATORY |
| 12:00 | Mid-day Moping. A period of silence where towels are encouraged to feel "slightly damp" but not "wet." | REQUIRED |
| 14:00 | Aggressive Lint-Rolling. Removing emotional baggage and cat hair in a way that borders on the theatrical. | NON-OPTIONAL |
| 16:00 | Mid-afternoon Sighing. Towels gathered in the laundry basket to sigh collectively at the state of the British Empire. | ENCOURAGED |
| 20:00 | The Folding. Tucked into a cupboard so small it causes existential dread. | INEVITABLE |